Conflict Management

Category: Group Dynamics, Common Purpose, Communication

Number of Hours: 1 Hour

Date: March 10, 2021

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A common misconception is that conflict is always negative. This workshop explored how conflict arises, and how it can be used as an opportunity for change and greater understanding. The goals of this workshop were to define conflict, understand my own conflict resolution style, discover how conflict can be used for growth, and practice techniques for effective conflict management.

It is hard to deal with any type of conflict. When asked, “How comfortable are you with dealing with conflict, from zero to five?” my response was a three. I am learning how to deal with conflict in a more effective manner, however, I do not seek conflict out. I chose this workshop primarily to learn how to reframe my mindset to deal with conflict better.

The workshop began by letting the participants think about a time when we changed our minds and why. A simple example I thought about was about what restaurant I would like to eat from for my birthday. There are many restaurants I enjoy and making a decision for not only myself was hard since I wanted everyone to enjoy the food. So, I felt in conflict with my decision-making. The role of this thought experiment was to realize that we go through conflict all the time, either internally or externally.

The workshop defined conflict as:

A situation in which the concerns of two people appear to be incompatible

The basic needs that arise in conflicts are trust, self-expression, peace, support, and acceptance. Similarly, the basic desires that arise are appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status, and role. We all have the need to be fulfilled and the desire to be understood. In conflicts, often times it feels like our needs and desires are overlooked by the other party, making each of us upset and awkward. These feelings arise primarily from miscommunication and not fully listening to the other party.

Next, the workshop discussed five conflict resolution styles: collaborating, competing, avoiding, accommodating, and compromising. The style that I ranked the highest for conflict resolution was the accommodating style. The accommodating style is unassertive yet cooperative, neglects their own concerns to satisfy the other party, and involves a level of self-sacrifice. Even though my dominant style tends to be accommodating, conflict resolution styles are situation based. A style I rank low in was competing style. It is important to be self-aware of what style you are dominant in, but it is equally as important to practice and exaggerate your lower ranking styles. To practice competing style, I should use language such as “I would like to share my opinion. Please hear me out” and by expressing why my needs are so important during that conflict.

After this workshop, I understand that conflict typically arises because of a common purpose. This shared reality gives us a platform to talk about a situation. The way I can change how I understand conflict is through being self-aware and making sure I understand both viewpoints during the conflict rather than arguing or becoming upset. From conflict, I can learn something no matter what the outcome is. By taking a step back from the conflict, reflect on the situation, manner.